Feeling lonely in a big city is quite bizarre. You see people every where you turn, yet all the while that feeling of being ridiculously insignificant lingers within you. What if you were standing on a side walked and yelled at the very top of your lungs? Would anyone notice? You feel that they won't...
It's weird how in the quest to find meaning, you may inadvertently push those who were already close to you. I'm a bit tired of being deemed the gray cloud amongst those I care about. And while I want to be angry at them for these thoughts, I need to be mature about this and truly consider what it is about me that triggers such labels. A healthy balance must be found. I don't want to live a life where I never take a moment to examine and self reflect. However, I may risk letting my life pass by in trapping myself in such a routine. I mean, an unlived life isn't really worth examining, right?
I want to take chances, be young and be wild, but on my own terms. I want to love, dance, sing as I wish without worrying about others and what they might think about me. I have a lot of life in me, and I want to do all of this without depending on alcohol or other drugs to facilitate this. I want to meet new people and make new friends. I'm still young and while I appreciate the people in my life, I have to realize that there is still time to learn. There are many other people's paths that I need to and want to cross.
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